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For many couples, the path to parenthood does not always go as planned. Three years ago, Natalie and Bennett could not have imagined the life and family they have today after beginning the process to become foster parents. Hear firsthand about what led them to foster care and ultimately adoption, and how they have emotionally navigated reunifying five children with their birth families in the following interview with Children’s Bureau.

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster or foster-adopt through this agency?

 When Bennett and I decided to become foster parents, we attended a few orientations because we really wanted to pick the right agency. We wanted to be part of an organization that felt like a family, like home. We were not only new to being foster parents, but we were also new to being parents. It was important to join a professional team that was going to be able to support us in both journeys. As soon as we walked into Children’s Bureau, we knew we had found our foster care family. We knew we were home.

CB: What was the process of becoming a resource parent and how long did it take?

We went to an orientation in April 2018, started class in July and were approved by October. Our first call was just 72 hrs. after being approved.

CB: What inspired you to become resource parents and how has it changed your life?

Foster care was a topic that was always on the table. However, we thought we would have biological children and then foster kids later in life. Our path to parenthood didn’t go as we planned. When we struggled with infertility, we reassessed what being a family meant to us. Ultimately, we knew in our heart that a child didn’t have to come from my body for us to love them like they were our own. We knew our hearts and our family’s hearts were big enough to love any child who needed us.

We had a failed IVF transfer of our only viable embryo in April of 2018. We were devastated. If on that day you had told us how complete our lives would be three years later, we may have not believed you. I do not know if we could have even imagined it. In three years, we have been lucky enough to parent seven children. In that time, we have done it all, we have reunited five, stayed in close contact with one, and adopted our beautiful son Miles. Bennett and I had no idea this life was possible and how fulfilled we could be through this emotional rollercoaster that is foster care. Being a Children’s Bureau resource parent has completely changed our lives.

CB: How have you helped the children transition back to their families? What was that like for you?

We’ve transitioned five children back to their birth families or with the foster families of siblings. It’s never easy and we always cry. It doesn’t matter if the kids were in our home for just one day or a year. We are always sad to see them go but are thrilled that they have found their forever home. There is a lot of that in foster care, having two completely different emotions spinning around in your body at the same time. The longer you do this the better you get at allowing those emotions to share the space and be ok with it. We like to send kids to their family with a little note that has wishes for their future. We also send a gift and anything we had bought for them while they were with us. Lastly, we make a list for the parents that has a rundown of anything they need to know. Medication schedules, sleep schedules, upcoming doctors’ appointments, and anything else we may know that they don’t. I also let them know that if they need anything, we are here to support them. We encourage them to reach out if they ever need anything. We are a judgement free and safe place to go for help.

CB: What were the birth parents/family like and how much contact do you have with them?

Every child that has joined our family has had a different amount of family time or family contact. Some saw their families weekly and others have families that we have never met. All the birth families we have met have been kind and thankful that we are taking care of their kids. They also clearly love their children very much but just need some help learning how to keep them safe.

In our house, we always put reunification 1st. The goal from day one is for kiddos to go home. When we talk with the biological parents, we say something along the lines of “we want you to know that your child is safe, we are giving them a ton of love, and we are taking very good care of them until they get to go home to you”. Having this mindset and letting the birth parents know our intentions is what has helped us build positive relationships together.

Reunification has been the most challenging part of being a foster parent. Going through the process of reunification while not knowing if the child will rejoin their family, or not, is emotionally challenging. Keeping the “foster care hat” on during the entire process helps us to continue to be foster parents. My advice to all resource parents is to love children that join your family deeply and at the same time be ready to send them home. Again, it’s learning how to have dueling emotions in your heart and be ok with it.

CB: How did you incorporate the birth parents/family into your child’s life?

We foster babies so this question is a little different for us. Mostly, we talk positively about the birth parents to the child. On our way to family time, we talk about who we are going to see and how fun it will be. On the way home we say things like “Wow, your mom was so happy to see you” or “You and your dad had so much fun playing in the park”. We also try to incorporate positive talk about their biological parents and family time throughout the week. I think every little bit helps them create a bond.

Another way we support the bond is to ask the biological parents if we can take pictures of them with the baby so we can put a framed picture in the nursery. We will invite the bio parents to any doctor’s appointment or update them during family time. We want the parents to feel as though they are a part of everything that is happening even if they cannot attend the appointments.

How has Children’s Bureau helped you on this journey?

Children’s Bureau has been there to guide us when we weren’t sure footed, listened to us when we needed to vent, offered an alternative perspective when we felt stuck, and reminded us why we signed up for this when we felt lost. They have been there to help when we needed it judgement free and full of confidence in us and our ability.

CB: What activities/therapies have the children joining your family through foster care experienced?

We have worked with therapists on development issues and added tons of tools to our parenting toolboxes. We feel like every therapy appointment helps us be better parents.

CB: How did you manage your and other family member’s feelings when a child goes to live with another family?

We have spent a lot of time talking with our family and friends about what to expect. We felt it was important to prepare them as much as possible for the journey we are all embarking on. Bennett and I had gone through PRIDE where the truth about how often reunification occurs but unfortunately, our family had not.

During the first year we had to manage everyone’s expectations. Occasionally someone would say things like “for sure she is going to stay” or “there is no way she’ll go”. We would gently remind them that the goal is always reunification until that is not an option. Now after three years, they are experts at being 100% onboard for as long as the kids are with us.

CB: What challenges have you faced as a resource parent and what have you learned?

We’ve learned so much, I am not even sure where to start. I’m a type-A personality and it’s always been very important for me to have a plan and know what is coming next. Obviously, in foster care that is an impossible way to live. I learned that if I am always worried about what’s coming next, I will miss what’s happening right now. I have learned to live in the moment and enjoy every second I’m allowed to be momma to these kids! I have also learned to be ok with having opposite emotions live within me. I can hope that every child who joins our family stays and at the same time hope that they get to go home as well. I know that both of those situations can’t happen but I’m not willing to hope someone else fails so that I’m able to get what I want.

CB: Tell us about your children today and their interests.

Miles, our adopted son, turns two in November. He loves cars and singing. He is a super happy kid with a contagious smile. He wakes up happy and only moves by running. Our 5-month-old boy who joined our family at birth is an easy- going kid who just figured out he has hands! He sleeps through the night and has a huge smile. One child was with us for 13 months and now lives with her dad but comes back to visit once a month. She is almost three and is amazing! She is a strong-willed and outspoken firecracker. She loves to sing and dance and loves to play make-believe. She is an amazing sharer and loves to help with the babies.

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CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster or foster-adopt through this agency?

We had conducted our initial research online and compiled a list of agencies that we wanted to look at. Ultimately, we chose Children’s Bureau based on an orientation meeting that we attended. Children’s Bureau has a great longstanding reputation in supporting the community and families it serves and has the resources and commitment to supporting us in this journey. Children’s Bureau was the right choice.

CB: What was the process of becoming a resource parent and how long did it take?

Once we decided to become resource parents, it was rather straight forward. We applied and went through the various background checks. CB helped us throughout the process. The process was extensive, but it was also reassuring to know that CB and DCFS were doing their jobs to properly screen families.

CB: What inspired you to become resource parents and how has it changed your life?

Several years into our marriage we discussed having children together and both agreed that adoption was a consideration. Although we weren’t considering fostering, Children’s Bureau’s orientation showed us how resource families were needed, and we took a chance and became approved.

CB: How has Children’s Bureau helped you on this journey?

CB has been a critical resource at every stage and phase of becoming a resource parent. And it is a journey and not a destination. There is a lot of preparation, ongoing education, understanding, compliance and commitment to becoming a valued resource to children.

CB: What were the birth parents/family like and how much contact do you have with them?

With our adopted children, we did not have any birth parent interactions. However, these situations were the exception and not the rule. With the first baby who joined our family through foster care, we had multiple visits during the week with her birth parents and extended family members. These visits started at the beginning of her time with us to the very end when she was reunited with her parents.

CB: What activities/therapies have the children joining your family through foster care experienced?

Speech, occupational and child development services. All the therapies were performed by outstanding professionals. Frankly it was incredibly refreshing to see and experience talented individuals provide such a high-level of care. The professionals that we interacted with were passionate for the care they performed.

CB: How did you manage your and other family member’s feelings when a child went to live with another family?

After the first experience, which was the most challenging of all, we went into each situation knowing that our primary responsibility was to love and care for each child unconditionally. This also meant that there was a good chance
that they would be reunified with their parents, and we needed to be prepared for it. When reunification took place, it was heartbreaking, but we knew that they had our love.

CB: What challenges have you faced as a resource parent and what have you learned?

Fostering is a road less traveled, however, the experiences are magical and transformative. We quickly learned that we could love deeply and forever. And that there is no limit to how much you can love because we realized that we could love our children more by becoming better versions of ourselves. As for challenges, there were many. One of the greater challenges is the loss that comes with returning a child to their birth family, this act can be rather difficult. Not all reunifications feel morally right, but reunification is the goal. Clearly, I am sure, there are many situations where reunification feels right, and it is the right thing to do. As a resource parent you must be prepared to accept these outcomes, whether they feel right or not.

CB: Tell us about your child(ren) today and their interests.

Our children are exceptional to us and to those who get to know them. They have grown to be quite close as new siblings. They love school, their friends, and teachers. They enjoy taking daily walks and interacting with neighbors, dogs, and insects, they love insects! They love riding their bikes and scooters and look forward to week-end hikes and pool time around our neighborhood. They have relationships with many of our neighbors and we often find gifts for them at our doorstep. They are loved.

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Lisa and Andrew knew they wanted another child in their family. After talking with two friends who are Children’s Bureau resource parents and seeing the need for so many children to find loving homes in our community, it was clear foster care was the right choice for them.

The foster care and foster-to-adopt experience is different for every family. Read Lisa & Andrew’s interview with Children’s Bureau to learn firsthand about becoming resource parents, adoption, and reunifying children with their birth parents.

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster or foster-adopt through this agency?

We started attending a small group at church and two families were fostering through Children’s Bureau.  They both loved CB and we knew it would be the right agency for us!

CB: What was the process of becoming a resource parent and how long did it take?

The process was not very long.  It really depends on how quickly you can provide your documents.

CB: What inspired you to become resource parents, and how has it changed your life?

We really wanted to have another child and private adoption was out of the question for us.  Once we become resource parents, we saw the need for so many children to find loving and caring families.

When birth parents’ rights were terminated, family visits stopped.  I feel like our kids always knew they belonged in our family, but now they knew they would be our forever family.

CB: How have you helped the children transition back to their families? What was that like for you?

A child who joined our family through foster care started having extended family time with her birth mom.  We figured reunification was going to happen.  We told our children that she would most likely be going home to her birth mom.  We did not know when, but in the meantime, we would continue to treat her as family and love and parent her while she was here. Even though we tried to prepare our family, it was extremely difficult to see her go. Together we have supported each other through tears, hugs, and open communication.

CB: What were the birth parents/family like and how much contact do you have with them?

Communication is still open with the birth mom, and we get to video chat on occasion.

CB: How did you incorporate the birth parents/family into your child’s life?

On a few occasions we had dinner at a restaurant with birth mom.  I wanted her to see how we interacted with her child.  Plus, this allowed her to see how our family could love and accept her too.

CB: How has Children’s Bureau helped you on this journey?

We are very thankful for the support and cooperation from Children’s Bureau.  We knew that if we needed them, they were always available.

CB: What activities/therapies have the children joining your family through foster care experienced?

Two of the children who joined our family attended Day Treatment Intensive services.  It is a phenomenal class for children aged 4.  Both also had therapy through Children’s Bureau, and one went through the Wrap-Around program.

CB: How did you manage your and other family member’s feelings when a child goes to live with another family?

Once we knew that reunification would most likely happen, we always told our children that the child may be moving to their mommy’s house.  That way, when it happened, they were not surprised.  We would spend one-on-one time with each child so we could have the space to talk about what changes might be happening and how we felt about them.

CB: What challenges have you faced as a resource parent and what have you learned?

Nothing ever goes the way you think it should! What we have learned is to be accepting and flexible, especially for the court system.  We had several continuations.

CB: Tell us about your children today and their interests.

We have 3 children, ages 15, 9 & 6. Our oldest loves having younger siblings! She also enjoys make-up and learning Spanish at school. Mya, our 9-year-old is a straight A student; she also enjoys art and lives for gymnastics. Cameron, age 6, loves playing sports!  His favorites are football, basketball, and skateboarding. Our children have adapted well, and we couldn’t be happier!

Additionally, the two children who joined our family and reunified with their birth families will always have a place in our hearts.

April (not her real name) joined our family in 2015 at 15 months old.  She was with us for 1 year, 9 months before she reunified with her mom.  Due to unfortunate circumstances, April rejoined our family in Dec 2017.

Our goal was always adoption, but we knew we had to foster first.  Reunification was always the best option for the child.  When April returned, we had court hearings every six months, but the birth mom was not ready to reunify.  April had a lot of behaviors; she was defiant, throwing things, hitting, and having tantrums of jumping up and down and crying.

Through the years we were able to get April the help she needed.  She learned how to self-soothe and  how to use her words, and we learned to be consistent.  We had to learn how to handle her challenging behaviors and what to say to her when she clearly said No! It was difficult. Fast forward 4 years, and April recently reunified with her birth mom.  It has been bittersweet.  We miss her dearly, but we are so grateful that we get to video chat with her.

Cameron joined our family in June 2016 at two months old. Then we got a call seven months later that his older sister (age 4) needed a permanent family and Mya joined our family in March 2017.  Then another call came in July 2019, their birth mom had a 1-year-old baby girl.  She joined our family from July 2019 to Feb 2021 before she was reunified with her mom.  All three children share the same parents and we adopted Cameron and Mya in August 2020!  It was very hard to see their baby sister return to her birth mom, but we have been able to have day visits and video calls and plan to maintain their relationships.

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Laura decided at a young age that she wanted to be an adoptive parent and seeing how many children needed stability and a loving family in the communities around her further solidified that desire. Since then, her and her husband Brad became resource parents with Children’s Bureau and have adopted two of the children they fostered.  Read their interview with Children’s Bureau below to learn more about their story.

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster or foster-adopt through this agency?

I learned about Children’s Bureau in my doctor’s office. There was a flyer on the table, and I kept it.

CB: What was the process of becoming a resource parent and how long did it take?

It took us about one year to become approved due to paperwork issues.  The family assessment process and classes lasted about four months and obtaining the recommendations from friends spanning the country took about three months.  Critical documents such as birth certificates were stored in another state, so that was an additional delay.

CB: What inspired you to become resource parents and how has it changed your life?

I wanted to adopt a child since I was eleven years old because I knew people who were adopted and saw the love, bond, and acceptance between their parents and them.  I also saw in the communities around me that there were so many neglected children that just needed stability and daily love. I thought I could provide that.  As an adult, I feel that society should help those already here and provide support early and advocate for children, rather than having to spend money, time, and resources on rehabilitation later.

Brad saw an 18-year-old boy speak on television about feeling so sad that no one adopted him and now that he had aged out of the system, he had no family to rely on for emotional support.  This young man was struggling to stay positive while also scared of this large, complicated, and unfriendly world.  He did not know how he would survive, much less thrive.  Brad was just broken hearted and when he tells this story to anyone, he ends up in tears.  Making a difference for a child was supremely high on his list.

CB: What were the birth parents/family like and how much contact do you have with them?

For my now forever son, the birth mom was in and out of jail until she was sentenced for multiple years in prison. She met my husband and I a couple of times and was comfortable with us adopting him. Her boyfriend at the time was not the biological father and did not complete necessary coursework at the end of one year, so he was not able to qualify to adopt.

My second child did not reunite with her birth mom, although she completed most of her coursework. At the end of the process, the birth mom did not feel she would be able to bond or provide for her child on her own.

Family time is different for each child.  For my son, the boyfriend of the birth mom visited with us at Children’s Bureau approximately 6 – 8 hours weekly for one year. For my second child we met with their birth mother for 2 – 4 hours weekly for about one year.

CB: How has Children’s Bureau helped you on this journey?

Children’s Bureau helped us cope with the demands of fostering, especially throughout the pandemic.

CB: What activities/therapies have the children joining your family through foster care experienced?

We had support via therapists for both babies through Westside Regional Center. Our private daycare kept them safe and fostered learning while my husband and I worked. We had love and support from extended family and friends across the country. We took many trips around Los Angeles and was able to visit family in Oregon and Ohio, with permission from the birth parents.

CB: What challenges have you faced as a resource parent and what have you learned?

Multiple staff changes occurred at DCFS and at Children’s Bureau, which was difficult. However, I believed in the process and being the best resource mom possible remained my focus.  I have learned that being an advocate for a child is very rewarding.

CB: Tell us about your child(ren) today and their interests.

My forever daughter is reading at two, loves dinosaurs, rock climbing and creating art at her daycare.

My forever son, at three, has a tremendous passion for cars and trucks, running track, and is a natural extrovert. He is never afraid to speak to people and inquire on what they are doing and why. He is a charmer. He also loves to swim.

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“The best part about being a foster parent is the smile you can bring out of a scared, unsure child. We’ve mostly cared for babies, but we’ve also had a few very scared toddlers,” said Vicki. “I also enjoy working with the birth families — parents and relatives. It can be challenging trying to schedule visits with everyone, but I think it’s important that they know who has their kids and that they are safe.” 

Vicki and David had no intention of adopting, even though Children’s Bureau had asked them on several occasions. However, that all changed in March 2006 when they were matched with a five-month-old boy named Joseph. Joseph had been abused and neglected by his birth parents and, since the parent’s situation did not improve, Joseph needed a permanent home. Children’s Bureau asked the family if they would consider adopting him. Initially they declined, however, after talking with their older kids and building an addition to their home (the extra space was needed if they were to adopt), Vicki and David officially became Joseph’s parents on May 8, 2009. 

Shortly after, in October 2009, Vicki and David received a call at midnight from Children’s Bureau asking if they would take two girls who had been separated from their family. They agreed and thought the girls would be joining the family for a short time. The girls had family in another state, however, the reunion with their birth family did not materialize. Vicki and David finalized their adoption of Amanda, age three, and Gabriella, age two, in 2011. 

“I believe Joseph, Amanda and Gabriella were sent to us for a reason. They keep us young and keep us moving with all the chasing around we do. Our older children raised a few questions, especially with the recent adoption of the girls, but they love these kids so much and now appreciate how much work goes into parenting,” said Vicki. 

Vicki was a mentor parent for a year through Children’s Bureau’s APSS program and continues to speak at parent support groups and foster parent training. She appreciates the support and encouragement she receives from the staff and knows that they are always available to her when needed. Vicki and David plan to continue being foster parents for years to come. 

“There are many kids out there who just need arms to hold them, even if it’s just for a short time,” Vicki said with a smile. 

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Rachel had always wanted a large family and having grown up with two adopted siblings, she always considered the option of fostering or adopting. After going through the process to become a certified foster parent with two close friends, she has opened her family to a 17-year-old girl, now 19, and an infant with less than two hours’ notice. Read the interview below to learn more about Rachel’s experience working with Children’s Bureau to become a foster mother. 

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster through this agency? 

I have two best friends who were looking to have children and decided to go the foster route. They initially asked me to join their support group and get background checked to be able to help with the kids if an emergency came up. They had already decided on going through Children’s Bureau and introduced me to the agency. I had a guest bedroom and have always wanted children, so I thought “why not?” and decided to go through the process with them.  

CB: What was the process of becoming a resource parent and what was your experience going through the process during COVID-19?  

For me, the process was a little difficult because the training included mandatory Saturday classes that must be attended in order. Since I traveled for work, sometimes on the weekend, the overall process took longer for me. Otherwise, it was simple and the Children’s Bureau team was great, everyone from the initial classes to the home studies was extremely helpful.  

In July of 2019, I was informed of a seventeen-year-old girl, Reason, who was homeless at the time. Knowing what I learned from the Children’s Bureau classes, I knew she had to be turned over to DCFS.  It was a challenge to convince her to go into the program, but with the help of Children’s Bureau, Reason willingly opted in and in August of 2019 she was placed with me. Even though she transitioned into the Transitional Independent Living Program (TILP), in September 2020, she will always have a home with me.  

This past December I was matched with an infant, Baby D. Even though it was during the pandemic, I was not scared to step in because of COVID, but what would happen if I did not? The process that time was extremely fast and easy because I am vigilant in keeping my certificate up to date, taking the Foster Parent College classes consistently, as well as communicating with my social worker. This was especially helpful because when I was initially called about Baby D I only had a couple hours’ notice before taking her in.  

CB: What do you wish you had known going into it, and what advice would you give prospective resource parents?  

Do not limit yourself to version of the child you “think” you want. Go into the program with an open mind. I was initially set on a younger child but being placed with a high school senior turned out to be the best thing for both of us. Just know that the kid that is meant to join your family, is meant to be with you no matter what their age, gender or whatever else.  

It is also important to TRY to compartmentalize your feelings, especially in situations that may not turn into a permanent placement. Even though saying goodbye and returning the child to the birth family will be hard, in the end it will be the best thing for the child and their family.  

CB: What inspired you to become a resource parent, and how has it changed your life? 

Knowing that there are 50,000+ kids needing homes in Los Angeles, becoming a foster parent was an easy decision to make. I am thankful to Jason and Mark for asking me to be a part of their process and opening my eyes to the foster care system, not to mention educating me and helping break down the stigmas that come with it. My experience has been amazing and I have since been an advocate.  

CB: How much contact do you have with the birth parents and what is that relationship like? 

Reason and I do not have contact with her parents – her mother passed, and her dad forfeited his parental rights. However, she does have an amazing relationship with her brother and her grandfather.  Both men adore her and would spoil her rotten if they could.  

Baby D on the other hand had nine hours of visitation a week that were supervised by a moderator, who was the Great Grandmother. The birth parents and I texted all the time and shared pictures and videos regularly.  From the second I met Baby D, I could tell that she was being well taken care of and would return to her birth family in some way. I reminded myself every day, because I knew when the time came for her to return to her family, it would be extremely hard. Afterall, she would have been with me for a couple of months, more than half her life.   

Baby D, was place back with her family in February. I am not going to lie; I was a puddle of sadness the night she left and the following day.  Compartmentalizing my emotions and seeing her back with her loving family was the closure that I needed. I know the love, support, and stability I provided for her (and her family) over those two months will leave a lifelong impression on her. 

CB: How has children’s Bureau helped you on this journey?   

Children’s Bureau has been great. With Reason and her unique situation, they gave me immediate answers and guidance on how to ease her into the foster care system. They were on-hand every step of the way, with finding doctors, therapists, and anything else we needed. Our case workers are awesome and made us feel so welcomed and comfortable from the beginning. A bonus of working with Children’s Bureau is the warm and welcoming family vibe you get from everyone who works there.  

CB: What challenges have you faced as a resource parent and what have you learned?  

With Reason, I learned patience, understanding and how to communicate better. I had to figure out how to reassure her and make it clear that I was not going to abandon her. With older kids, I found that it is important to learn their personality and pick up on the subtle ways they communicate to get through to them. 

When Baby D joined me, having a support network to turn to for help was especially important. I was able to reach out to multiple friends to borrow baby supplies, help me quickly shop for the essentials and even drive me to pick her up. It is also good to create a community of people within the system that are familiar with the process and can offer advice.   

CB: Tell us about your foster children’s interests today.   

Reason graduated high school a year early with a 4.0 and got a full ride to Chapman University. She is flourishing and having a successful freshman year. She inspires me daily.  Her “nothing is going to get in my way” attitude on life, school and success is amazing.   

Baby D astonished me every day. At two months old she was already holding her bottle and laughing and giggling with us. She was super smart and very funny. She knows just what heartstrings to pull or actions to take to get attention; including grabbing my cheeks for a kiss when she was trying to get what she wants. She was extremely loving and I wish amazing things for her.

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Lisa and Michael decided they were interested in adopting a foster child but did not know where to start. After noticing a Children’s Bureau billboard and giving our agency a call, the rest was history. Read their interview with Children’s Bureau to hear more about the journey that led to them welcoming three siblings permanently into their family.

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster/adopt through this agency? 

After months of consideration, we decided to adopt a foster child, but we did not know where to start or even who to ask. The bureaucracy at other agencies was daunting, and we needed someone with the time and the knowledge to guide us through this life-changing journey. Where could we turn?  

One afternoon, I was driving down a street in the South Bay and happened to notice a billboard showing a child’s bright shiny face. It was as if she was saying “I’m here and am ready for you.” The words said something about adopting a foster child. It gave a phone number and the name of an agency, “Children’s Bureau.”  I did not catch the phone number, but I could not forget the name of the organization. Nor could I forget that face. When I got home, I mentioned this to my wife and got on the internet to learn more about Children’s Bureau. A phone conversation with a responsive, caring, informed adoption professional followed, and the rest is history.  

CB: Tell me about your experience with Children’s Bureau. How has the organization helped you on this journey? 

It has been an exciting, challenging, wonderful, terrifying, life-changing, heart-wrenching, and joyful journey. Children’s Bureau has been there every step of the way. There has always been someone there who has the specific experience and the compassion to engage with us and our children and help us find the answers and the resources to meet our needs.  

We have established relationships with Children’s Bureau’s amazing staff that feel more like family than adoption professionals. They not only helped us get through the adoption, but they have stuck with us (for 12+ years now) and to help deal with some of the post-adoption challenges that arise with kids coming out of the foster care system. 

CB: Tell me about the children you have adopted. 

We adopted a sibling set of three, two girls and a boy. The girls were 4 and 2 years old when they joined our family permanently, and the boy was 1. Keeping them together was never a question for us, and we have experienced the bond these children have with each other. Had they been separated; they would have had a hole in their hearts without knowing what it was from. They are smart, challenging, engaging, and loving kids who have blessed many lives, including ours, and have much to give the world in the years ahead. 

CB: How has becoming an adoptive parent changed your life? 

Our older children were either already out of the home or several years ahead of our “little ones,” so we were able to re-experience child-rearing. We had a chance to enjoy all the precious moments of the kids growing through their toddler, elementary, and now teenage years. It has been a challenging yet rewarding experience that has required us to grow and become better parents and better people. The memories and relationship building has been tremendous. Our lives are forever changed. 

 CB: What advice would you give other parents who are considering foster/adopting? 

If adoption is in your future, there is no need to look any further than our surrounding county. So many local children need a family. If you are wanting to “make a difference” with your life, consider adopting from foster care. You could be saving generations. It is a high-energy and eternally rewarding experience. Be sure you get the help of an organization that can guide you through this process. Children’s Bureau did it for us. Then roll up your sleeves, buckle up, and get ready for the best ride of your life. 

 CB: What concluding thoughts would you like to share?  

If you have questions, do not be afraid to reach out and talk to a professional. Children’s Bureau is a great place to start. The greatest fear is always the fear of the unknown. Let them guide you to the answers so you can make an informed decision on what could be one of the best choices of your life.  

*Interview is from Spring 2017 

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After meeting a foster mother and seeing the impact she made, Ronald and Fatima reevaluated how they were spending their time after retirement. After some research, they found Children’s Bureau and began the training to become foster parents themselves. Since then, they have welcomed over 20 children into their family. Read more about their experience in their interview with Children’s Bureau below.  

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster through this agency?  

Children’s Bureau has an office in Palmdale and we saw the name on the outside of the building. We researched the name to find out what it meant. Then, we read reports on Children’s Bureau and other agencies. Children’s Bureau was the only choice for us based on the information we had found.  

CB: How has Children’s Bureau helped you on this journey?  

Our experience with Children’s Bureau and its social workers has been a pleasurable experience. The social workers are very helpful and easy to work with. The organization is supportive, provides training and is there daily for our needs. The people of Children’s Bureau are always ready to answer any question we have and back us up when we need it. 

CB: What inspired you to become foster parents and how has it changed your life?  

A one-time encounter with a foster mom inspired us to do something to “payback” for the goodness and kindness shown to us during a previous family situation. We were two people with grown children and a big house with three empty bedrooms. I was retired. I asked my wife if we were going to just sit around watching TV and waiting to die. We had this thought that we could provide a child something he or she didn’t have. I guess we unconsciously thought that we could help save the world with some love and material things. How naïve.  

We went to CB and began our training to be foster parents. After graduation, we anxiously awaited our first appreciative child. For approximately the next year we did our duty. However, our attitude and outlook really changed when we received a Christmas Eve emergency placement call for a brother and sister who had been abandoned. It was very soon after that that we realized we needed more specialized training. We immediately enrolled in classes at the local Community College – and also took online classes.  

In addition to the training, we changed our approach to fostering. Almost all children in the foster system have experienced abuse or neglect that impacts them. Along with the love and material things we were providing, we had to address the issues each child has whether it is physical, psychological, or social. We are still amazed at the number of children in the foster care system. We have learned how to interact with the legal system, the medical system, private therapy agencies and most of all, birth parents.  

CB: How have you helped the children transition back to their families?  

Helping children with their transition has not been a very big problem for us since most of the children we care for are younger than school age. We talk to them about their birth parents and support family time (visitations) with them. The school-age children are always told the truth in such a way that their current situation is a healing-learning-growing process. Reunification is the reward the child and parents enjoy for achieving their goals.  

CB: What do you do to prepare yourselves for the child leaving?  

Preparing oneself for a child leaving is impossible. We know the child will leave but he or she will always be with us in our heart and mind. They will always be our lost children. Why lost? Once a child leaves, we never hear about them again. We have not been fortunate to have continued a relationship with the birth family as other foster families have. Sometimes you never get over a child leaving. My wife still cries with the thought of a little boy that came to us two days old. She was called to the hospital and was wheeled out in a wheelchair with him in her arms. A child like that becomes your baby and no amount of preparation can make separation easy or the hurt go away.  

A copy of the child’s life book allows us to remember our experience with each child.  

CB: What advice would you give others who are considering being resource parents?  

Fostering is a pleasure but it is also work. I would suggest that training is the most important thing one can do. All children will be impacted by their experience prior to joining your family. Depending on their age, you have to know what to do on a daily basis. I recommend that prospective resource parents not wear rose-colored glasses but be realistic about what they want to do. Fostering is not about saving the world but providing one unique child the necessities of life to grow into a happy, healthy, productive adult.  

We have had 20+ children join our family through Children’s Bureau and currently, we have three little girls, ages 1,2, and 3. People ask us about the bond that develops with the children, and yes, you do develop a bond, but with reunification the goal, you know they will leave someday and you prepare for it.  

However, there happens to be a child or two that will melt your heart like no other and you know that that one child is for you, to be your family. That happened to us with our son.  

The problem with my wife and I is that we are too old to consider adopting other children. However, we still enjoy each child and love them like they are ours to keep. I am 77 years old and fostering is one of the greatest joys I have ever had. Instead of sitting around watching TV and talking about yesteryears, we are living in the now and the future. We have added a room to the house that is a playroom and classroom just for the children. We have also added raised gardens so the little ones can plant and raise vegetables. My wife and I like the life and joy of the young ones even as they make us tired and happy.  

*Interview from Spring 2017 

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Manuel, Sandra, and their two daughters made the decision to grow their family through adoption and

“It is such a pleasure working with the family. I got to see firsthand the commitment, dedication, and love that Sandra and Manuel have as foster parents. They fully embrace all the qualities that Children’s Bureau looks for in foster parents. They have had their challenges throughout the years, but their dedication to each child is truly remarkable,” remarks the family’s Children’s Bureau social worker. 

Learn more about the family’s journey with Children’s Bureau in the interview below.  

CB: How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to foster or foster-adopt through this agency? 

My husband and I were driving down the freeway and saw a Children’s Bureau billboard, so we went to one of the information meetings. After learning that there were a lot of kids in need of a home and love, we decided to be a part of Children’s Bureau. 

CB: What was the process of becoming a foster parent and how long did it take? 

The process took us around two months and everything moved along relatively smoothly. 

CB: How has Children’s Bureau helped you on this journey? 

For us, the support we receive from the social workers is nice. They are there for you and the kids when you need them, seven days a week at any time. 

CB: What inspired you to become foster parents, and how has it changed your life? 

It was always our dream to have a big family. Fostering has changed our lives for the better, we have learned about different cultures and helped many families. 

CB: How have you helped the children transition back to their families? What was that like for you? 

We help them understand they are in our home to protect them and give them love. About a week before they leave, we talk to them and explain their room is getting fixed at their parents/grandparents’ home and they always get excited. We get happy too because we think family reunification is always good. 

CB: What activities/therapies have the children joining your family through foster care experienced? 

We have gone to places they’ve never been to like Disneyland, Universal Studios, the movies, and we often attend Children’s Bureau activities. 

CB: What surprised you about the birth parents/ families? 

Sometimes the birth parents/families are upset with us, and sometimes they are happy to meet us. Eventually, they see how happy their children are with us and they are grateful. 

CB: How did you manage your and other family member’s feelings when a child goes to live with another family? 

It is always hard and sad, but we know our mission is to take care of kids that need love. 

CB: What do you do to prepare yourselves for the child leaving? 

We prepare with positive thoughts and pray for the children to have good lives. 

CB: What advice would you give others who are considering being foster parents? 

It is a learning experience. Every child has different needs but most importantly, they need lots of love. 

CB: What is the greatest thing you have learned from fostering? 

That no matter the age, race, or religion of a child, their happiness and love they show you is the same. 

CB: Anything else you would like to say? 

We are blessed to be a part of Children’s Bureau and hope to keep working together to bring more joy to our family. Thank you, Children’s Bureau, we are happy to have our biggest blessing with us, our daughter. 

*Interview is from Spring 2018 

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